The Lunchroom Couple

         Once upon a lunchroom, I sat by myself and ate. As the gravy dripped onto the table, I forced myself to eat the slimy, ugly, green, weeds that filled only a small portion of plate. I eat my vegetables first because usually I eat things from least favorite to most favorite, and I hate healthy food.  Yes, I very much prefer this method of eating because by the time you get to your dessert you have nothing else to gag down and your entire attention can be given to the best part of your day.

         The girl came up to me while I was eating a huge cinnamon roll. She was talking to me about this and that, but I just kept wondering if I had frosting on my face. She was boring and all sorts of crazy and my mind wandered while she talked. I still feel bad about this because I would consider myself a good listener; I really care about people and their feelings. But that day in the cafeteria was my hour, it was my meal, it was my agenda. She could sit by me I didn’t care but I just read her lips and pretended to laugh along with her. I only hope she wasn’t talking about anything sad.

         After she left I opened a book but didn’t get much read. The couple next to me was in a huge fight. IT WAS GREAT! He was the typical male chauvinist and she was meek and submissive. Oh I felt bad for her and him, but mostly for her she didn’t deserve the load he was shoveling her way. I secretly loved soaking up their negative vibes. Its like watching an episode of the Hills or Real Housewives. I don’t understand the rush that comes from other people’s drama but I did enjoy it very much. Had they stayed only a moment longer I would have given him a nice helping of my opinion and then told her to grow “some!” I sometimes still wonder what happened to them but in my mind there is no way that their young marriage will last through many more of that type of fight. It was not good.

And then it hit me, a blog about cafeteria drama…PERFECT!!